It’s been a far longer gap than I intended between posts but there’s a very special reason for this. It’s because I started back to work! Even though my part-time schedule is taxing me far beyond anything I expected both cognitively and physically, the satisfaction I’ve felt at earning my livelihood by my very own brain – brain injury and all – is indescribable. I’m just so proud of myself.
What I couldn’t imagine before my injury is the hard work that would go into barely being able to put in the equivalent of two work days in a week. The months of occupational, physical and speech/cognitive therapy plus my home program.
From time to time, a well-meaning person has asked me, “how are you spending your time?” I don’t like admitting these sorts of things but my inner judgey self would translate that as a back-handed way of saying, “it must be nice to have all this time off.” I’ve always known there was no shade intended in the question, just a conversation starter for people who probably didn’t feel comfortable probing for the latest on my health. Still, the question would make me wonder, was I using my waking time well? Was I doing all that I could to heal, to rehab and exercise my brain and body so that, with the grace of God, I could recover from the far-ranging effects of my brain injury?
The truth is I’ve never worked harder in my life and I was raised in a family who believed in the good ol’ Protestant work ethic and got by on the hard labor of railroading and whatever else might put food on the table and warm the house through the long stretch of winter. “What you put in is what you get out” ranks as probably one of my parents’ top 10 life lessons for me. That’s why I was incredulous when my occupational therapist told me she didn’t see a lot of people with my perseverance. Doing my rehab plus more is a given to me. This is my life. The rest of my life.
While I was seeing my physical therapist, my occupational therapist, my speech/cognitive therapist and my neuropsychologist weekly, I’ve now graduated to every three weeks for OT and PT but am still weekly for the others. I usually have a doctor’s check-in or two somewhere along the way. I had acupuncture to treat symptoms but let that lapse in favor of doing something called hyperbaric oxygen treatment. It’s the same treatment given to people with the “bends” and there is evidence, though not conclusive, that it helps with brain injuries. Frankly, I’m not willing to wait on the science to prove that it’s helpful or not so I’ve embarked on it and think that I generally feel better after my treatments.
And besides my part-time work week and therapy schedule, I now sleep ten hours a night up from six to eight before the injury. This is no luxury. The best way for the brain to heal is to let it do its work while resting. And while I don’t like the insane need for sleep I have these days, I know the side effects are worse. My speech starts to go, I get blazing headaches and I do very absentminded and sometimes, dangerous things. I take about an hour nap every day. Again, not optional. So while the old me bucks against these unfamiliar limits, the me today knows that trying to go, go, go is just not a good choice.
So I’m unashamedly sharing that I’m proud of myself. Life gave me a different song than I wanted but it was my choice to dance rather than sit this one out. I’ll save for another day the story of my dear friend who helped me build my home program and my gratitude to her. Right now, I’m just celebrating this milestone!