Here’s a small example of what it’s like to be in my head right now. I was taking a walk and saw one of those signs you see in front of churches everywhere, “Bob’s Glory Shines Through His Creation.”
Hmmmm…Bob’s glory? I’m puzzled and pause. Who is Bob? Is he the church gardener? If he’s so talented, why am I not impressed by the landscaping? Are they celebrating Bob’s retirement or something? Then something clicks and I realize it’s likely I “glitched.” Again. Ohhh duh, it’s God not Bob.
I call myself a dolt and keep walking but then it hits me. This happens to me over and over. Has this happened in front of other people? People must have caught me in these moments.
But then I remember two things that a dear man in my life repeatedly tells me, 1) Be forgiving of yourself in these moments, and 2) Recognizing when something is “off” is a positive sign.
I’ll take that sign any day.
4 thoughts on “(Mis)reading signs”
Jenny, you are always in my thoughts,each and every day..Love you so much and give yourself some time to heal. You have been through a lot honey..Love always
Well, “Bob” *is* visually close to “God”. At least you didn’t see “Alexander’s Glory Shines Through His Creation.” 🙂 That’s a good sign
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Indeed! It is progress. The only moment that I remember truly being scared was when I lost my words and couldn’t speak. It’s been a roller coaster ever since with my own special patois of words that only I knew what I meant, stuttering and dangit’ if I still don’t slur and swap letters in adjacent words BUT it’s a far cry from where I was before!
A few weeks ago, I am at dinner with some relatives and I hear myself asking “well, did we say brace” Of course I meant “grace”, but how many times has this happened? Some days I just want to be quiet. Conversation to me now is like a dance that I don’t quite know some hours. But like riding a bike if I get going the starting is not much of a problem. After a TBI I had musical hallucinations and could do very well in monologues and even in another language; it’s the back and forth stuff that has me saying “just forget, now” L.